The Hazards of Living in the Country

Driving to Grand Junction the other day I came across a huge herd of cows and their newborn calves standing in the road. Cattle drives down the highway are a fairly common sight, but this one wasn't really a "cattle drive"-- it was more of a "cattle hazard" as none of the cows were moving. The calves were all very busy playing in the barrow ditch. A man stood next to his ATV, holding the gate open as though the cows might be magnetically attracted to him and thus pass through the gate. A woman and a teenage boy rode horseback through the herd, slapping their reins across bony black hides, but the cattle parted like wheat and closed back around them again.

They must've been standing there for some time, as the lady was getting quite impatient. She thumped her elderly mount in the ribs with increasing rapidity, but the old cow horse just continued moving quietly among the Angus. The lady got wilder-- she flailed her arms! She pedaled and swung her legs! She thwacked and slapped at the cows! She shouted and flailed and wriggled! The calves continued playing, the mamas continued standing stolidly on the asphalt, chewing their cuds. (The only one who she seemed to have an effect on was me, who began giggling inappropriately for the situation!)

Flinging her arms about and kicking her legs, the lady encourage the cows, beat them, berated them, snarled at them! So violently did she spasm, I was afraid she was going to fall off her horse! But he just stood good-naturedly, as unpreturbable as the mama cows. Finally, her act reaching its crescendo, the lady had enough. As if I weren't laughing hard enough, she threw herself off her horse, and in a fury, began twisting tails and grabbing ears, kicking calves toward the pasture gate as all the mamas slowly got the picture and filed through. So infuriated was our cattle queen, that in her fit of twisting and slapping and kicking, she left her old black horse ground-tied right on the dotted yellow line down the middle of the highway. As our heroine whirled away like the proverbial dervish, her cool-blooded equine simply hung his head for a nap...blocking both lanes of traffic.

Of course, it was probably beneficial she'd forgotten her horse. Watching her gymnastics had me laughing so hard my eyes were positively blurry! When she finally remembered to stomp back to the center line and claim her drowsy mount, I'd just had time to catch my breath and wipe the tears away. Just another day in Crawford country...

Dude Ranch Employees of the Four-Legged Variety

Cherokee is a wild child!

Yosemite enjoys a mud bath.

Dollar wonders, what the heck is in here?

Tulsa shows off his rain bonnet-- he hates getting his mane wet.

Cutie demands assistance. How undignified! She's gotten her legs stuck through the fence!
Smith Fork Ranch is lucky to have such a wonderful herd of horses... and so full of personality! Vacationing at our dude ranch means you'll be partnered up with one of these sweet souls for your week of trail riding, cattle work, lessons, and fun on the trail obstacle course!

September Weddings at Smith Fork Ranch

Smith Fork Ranch features a unique, elegant western atmosphere to compliment any couples' special event. As always, you'll find us flexible when it comes to your Colorado wedding! Do you want a full bar with a five-course, seated dinner for both rehearsal and a reception? A wine bar with hors doeuvres? A BBQ at the rehearsal and a buffet at the reception? Music or no music, lodging for one night or a week, the entire ranch will be yours! We have hosted beautiful weddings of over 200 people, to an intimate gathering of six, who rode to the top of Cocktail Ride, were married in the view of Needle Rock, and rode back down again. We'd be happy to help you design the wedding of your dreams! For more information, contact Courtney at courtney@smithforkranch.com or see our website, at www.smithforkranch.com

When was the last time you indulged your inner cowgirl?

You’re a tough girl. Yes, I mean you. Look at everything you handle on a daily basis! You confront the world with grit, grace, and determination. Have you reminded yourself lately what a cowgirl you truly are?

Join the cowboys and cowgirls of Smith Fork Ranch for the kind of reminder you deserve. Announcing our 2010 Cowgirls’ Retreat! Join us September 8-12 for four days designed to bring out the best in your inner cowgirl. Our Colorado dude ranch will host you in deluxe log cabin accommodations, and open your eyes to a real adventure vacation!

The schedule this year includes clinics on roping and cattle work, equine massage, Cowgirl Yoga, and even a harness driving clinic! Special western trail rides will feature the Smith Fork Valley’s incredible scenery, wildlife, and rugged terrain. Of course, there will be time for everyone to enjoy all the activities the ranch has to offer, indulge in a massage, go for a swim, or even try a glassblowing lessons with our friends Jared and Nicole Davis at North Rim Glass.

This is a weekend for women, whether you’re an experienced equestrienne or a novice, to enjoy themselves and let the horses bring out the best in everyone. For more information, you can contact me anytime, at Ciara@smithforkranch.com. I’d love for you to join me in embracing that cowgirl within!

For information on accommodations, visit www.smithforkranch.com.

An Uncommon Chicken

Henny Penny passed away unexpectedly March 6. In lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to Smith Fork Ranch, to be used in the construction of a luxury coop in Henny’s memory. She is survived by her nemeses the cats, the half-tame fawn, and the five misfit ponies she called her friends.

Henny Penny was never one to follow convention. When Henny and her three sisters arrived on the ranch, they immediately deemed their coop “uninhabitable.” Henny, shucking familial obligation, perched precariously on a top-floor saddle rack, far above her sisters on the floor. After a raccoon intruder brutally murdered one sister, the remaining two sisters refused to roost near the scene of the tragedy. Both disappeared shortly afterward. Although deeply affected by the deaths, Henny’s greater IQ prevailed, and she continued her customary habitation high above the reaches of potential predators.

When lonely, she would find a ranch hand to follow around, fall asleep on a lap, or peck away at the phone in the office. But Henny wasn’t often lonely. She spent the majority of her days expanding her horizons, trying new and gourmet foods, and assimilating flawlessly with the animals on the ranch.

Henny laid her last egg in February, in her heated nesting box, just before deciding to move house. In typical Henny fashion, she bypassed the standard roosts for the relative luxury of a restored 1964 Land Rover, parked in the barn for the winter. This final home has been draped in black since her disappearance.

Although we are sad to have lost a friend, here was a chicken who lived life courageously, who knew no enemies, and who enjoyed every seed she pecked up to the fullest. Yes, Henny Penny knew the comfort of a heat lamp above her nest, but she also knew the excitement of challenging the ranch cats (and the half-tame fawn, the horses, and any innocent bystanders) for control of the food supply. While most chickens find themselves content behind wire fences, Henny pushed the boundaries of her existence daily. True to her explorer roots, her disappearance in a blizzard, though tragic, is a fitting end to the life of this unconventional chicken. We’ll miss you, Henny Penny.

What could be more exciting that a dude ranch vacation at Smith Fork Ranch?

Why, nothing! But a Smith Fork Ranch Patagonia Fleece jacket might come close! Congratulations to Kathleen Schramm, winner of our "Refer A Friend, Win A Fleece" contest! Want your own SFR Patagonia Fleece? Give us a call and let the Smith Fork Ranch Roundup Store set you up in style!

www.smithforkranch.com

The Palomino Mare Chooses Her Name...

Ciara: "How about Flicka?" 

Palomino Mare: "Yeah, that one's pretty good!"

Ciara: "Do you like the name Bo?"

Palomino Mare: "Ugh!"

Ciara: "I meant like Bo Derek."

Palomino Mare: "Hmmm. Well, I am a bombshell blonde."

Ciara: "How about Wheat?"

Palomino Mare: "How could you compare me to a mere grain used to make bread?! My golden glow deserves a name glorious in sound, and unique in meaning! Don't insult me with your common choices. Give me something good!"

Ciara: "What do you think of Tosca?"

Palomino Mare: "Hey! I think you've finally got the picture! That sounds Italian. My supermodel good-looks could almost be Italian, couldn't they?"

THANK YOU to everyone who submitted names for our very choosy, very particular palomino mare! With over 80 suggestions on the list, she had plenty to choose from. Congratulations to Sarah Sult for choosing the winning name: Tosca!